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Betty's Comment
Whenever possible, you may want to exchange gifts for services. This is what we did for our daughter's reception. For example, Karl's brother purchased film for the cameras as their gift for the wedding couple. My RS President bought ice cream for the drinks instead of a gift. Below are a few categories with ideas. We would love to have you add your ideas to ours by clicking on the link in the next section. |
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1: Cakes
| We had a friend in our ward that worked as a professional cake maker and was
able to make ours for less money than we would have paid had we ordered one
elsewhere. Many moms have taken on the task of cooking and decorating the
cakes themselves. I have also heard that some grocery stores with an in-store
bakery will do a wedding cake which may cost less than a bakery. If you have
made a cake, we'd appreciate your ideas and even photos of the cake(s) you
have made.
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2: DVD Montage
| DVD montages of the wedding couple from birth to the wedding are fun to
watch and add to the enjoyment of a wedding reception. I LOVE looking at
these while waiting in the reception line, or on our way out of the
reception. With our photo website, you can scan your photos from birth
and upward to the webpage. Then you can arrange the photos in any order
you'd like. You can fix red-eye, crop, and change the photos, if you wish.
You can then create your own DVD. It will save hundreds of dollars over
the cost of a professional photographer. AND you can have as many copies
made of the DVD as you wish. It will stay online forever in the format
you created it in too, in case a DVD is lost or broken or you need to
order more.
When our daughter and son-in-law returned home from their honeymoon, they
wanted to watch the DVD that my brother spent HOURS putting together for
them. He scanned the photos, then added music to it. When it was finished,
it was played at the wedding breakfast and later at the reception. However,
somehow it went bad during the following week. When the wedding couple went
to watch it, it was just static. My brother didn't save a copy, either.
And, my son-in-law's mother lost one of the precious baby photos after the
reception. A word to the wise: Scan photos to a website (or have them
scanned by the photo website company for a nominal fee). If anything happens
after the reception, there are extra copies and all is not lost.
The bride and groom can also go through all of the wedding photos and put
together their own wedding DVD of their line, the guests, and the unique
things from their wedding and reception. There are many other options and
products available for the wedding couple to help preserve those special
memories.
To create a DVD montage, you'll need to register for a free online private
storage site here.
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3: Decorations
| We chose to spend a bit more and hire a cateror to put up a backdrop, special
book signing table, and a enclosure for the wedding cake and musicians. I was
able to relax while they set things up, and especially after while they
cleaned up when we were tired. For the wedding breakfast, our niece did
beautiful centerpieces as her wedding gift. For the reception, my daughter
chose to have small fish in a bowl with colored stones in the bottom, and
were on top of a dollar store mirror with dollar store greenery around it
and sitting on a couple of cloth 'napkins' in her colors. After the
reception, she gave the fish to her little brothers for helping with
the gifts.
There are many things you can do with silk flowers and greenery. We had a
family friend that went to several dollar stores and bought all the silk
tulips in the bride's theme she could find. We placed them around the
backdrop and in corners and on the book and gift tables.
Others have brought in borrowed fake trees and put white Christmas lights
on them.
We had a friend who went to a local nursery and purchased inexpensive
flowering houseplants to place around the room. When the reception was
over, the bridesmaids and others who helped were able to take home the
houseplants as a thank you gift.
There is a lot you can do with PVC pipe and lovely fabric. You can build
arches and other backdrops with PVC, and cover it in fabric along with
greenery wrapped around it.
Our Relief Society has very nice tablecloths we were able to borrow and
use for the reception.
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4: Flowers
Any ideas would be appreciated. Costs are always changing. Silk or real?
Some of the brides have chosen to have their bouquet with silk flowers so
that they can have them forever. Our daughter chose real flowers, but paid
someone to preserve her bouquet and have it framed in a box frame and it
hangs on her wall.
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5: Invitations
| Making your own invitation can sometimes be less money than ordering them.
However, if you pick pricey paper and ribbons, along with special envelopes
and photo reprints, be prepared to pay more than if you ordered them. We were
able to pick out nice cardstock. We did the layout and printing on our
computer. We found it was less expensive to order reprints of a photo rather
than doing a cheap looking color copy of a photo. The only thing we had a
difficult time with was the ribbons for the invitations. Your savings will
be lost if you use expensive ribbon!
My sister-in-law started to collect wedding invitations when she heard our
daughter was engaged. It was fun to look at all of the different kinds of
invitations and choose how they wanted the lay-out of theirs.
A word about the photo in the invitation. Every once in a while we receive
an invitation with a photo that makes us stare. Be choosy about how you pose
in the photos! I realize that most of the photos are from favorite snapshots.
I also know it is not fashionable to be "dressed up" in photos. I'm the type
that likes a couple who is dressed better for their invitation photos than
they would be if they were at a football game or barn dance. Whether or not
the engaged couple wants to dress up or be relaxed is best left to them.
However, my sister-in-law once heard an apostle say that if the couple
plans on a temple marriage they should consider dressing for the invitation
photo in clothing that would honor and respect that ceremony. I don't know
if you'll ever hear that over the pulpit or not. But, it is something to
think about.
A hint about what not to wear: Unless both the bride and groom are dressed
similarly, recommend that they avoid dressing in white for the invitation
photo. White washes out everything around it. You rarely see news people
on TV wearing white shirts. Same thing with small checks or stripes. It
does weird things to the cameras. This is especially true for couples where
one or both are darker-skinned. Betty's very fair skinned niece married a
black man in the San Diego Temple. Some of their wedding pictures obscure
her groom's face almost completely because of white clothing. Newer
technology is making this less of an issue, but keep it in mind.
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6: Music
| I must say I am VERY picky about music. For years I was in a string quartet
that performed at weddings almost every week, or sometimes several
times each week. I've seen everything--from pricey to the budget
weddings/receptions. Live music adds class to a wedding reception.
A DJ and recorded music makes a reception feel cheap like a church dance.
But, you must know that I am very partial to live music because I'm a
musician and am very fussy about it. If you know an excellent pianist,
harpist, violinist or know of a string quartet, perhaps they can play
for a discount rather than give a wedding gift. I know that couples like
to have their favorite music playing, however when the guests arrive,
they quit focusing on the recordings and concentrate on conversation.
Live music will add to the atmosphere. A pianist can play soft, romantic
music and your guests can sit back and enjoy it while eating.
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7: Photography
| Here again you can either spend a LOT of money, or save a LOT of money.
If you hire a photographer, you will get some very nice photos. Be aware
that they come in "packages" that can cost a lot of money. The photos may
also be copyrighted. Our daughter had a friend that loved photography. He
took their engagement photos. However, he couldn't come to the reception.
We had two in-laws offer to take photos, and we took them both up on it.
One did formal shots, and the other did candid shots. They turned out very
nice. Plus they donated the film as their gift. This was before digital
photography became more accessible.
With digital cameras, you can now take hundreds of photos and just delete
the bad ones. One thing we do not recommend is having disposable cameras at
the guest tables. We've heard from many that the guests take stupid photos,
or their kids will goof off with the camera and you end up with paying a lot
in development for photos you don't care for or can't use. A picture of the
church gym floor may not bring back many memories.
Also, when you do your own photography, you can print as many photos as you
wish. You can blow them up to poster size, or 8x10's and put lovely frames
around them. You can put your photos into a photo album, or make a photo DVD.
There are many photo websites that offer a wide variety of products which
will interest a couple planning their wedding. We highly recommend the
website we chose at bettykarl.myphotomax.com. It is free with
lifetime storage of photos. Prints are inexpensive and on high quality
archivable Fuji paper. You can also do many other things with your photos
you can't do if you hire a photographer. If you are interested, you can go
to this site and register for a free, private website where you can upload
your digital or scanned 35mm photos, or have them scan your photos,
negatives or slides, and make them available for you to create a variety
of fun and/or memorable products.
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8: Reception Center
| What more can I say? It is obvious that the least expensive place to hold a
wedding reception is the local church house. I know that many brides cringe
at the idea of having it held in a gym. They view the basketball standards
as unsightly. However, in my daughter's wedding reception photos, not one
basketball standard shows. :-) Unless you have a friend that owns a
reception center and can give you an excellent discount, the costs are
way too much for a budget wedding.
The least expensive place, besides a church gym, is to have an outdoor
wedding reception. But you must bear in mind the possibility of inclement
weather, insects, and dealing with an earlier sunset than you expect. July
is the best month for an outdoor wedding. When August rolls around, the
sun is down and it is dark by 8:30. We've been to a couple of receptions
where they weren't prepared for dark hours and had to clean up in pitch
black, using flashlights. The reception ended early because there weren't
any lights available. Karl's oldest brother was married August 10th and
had the reception at home in the back yard. Many of the most important
photos, including the cake cutting, are hard to see because they were
taken by flash in near blackness.
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9: Refreshments
| You can go broke feeding your guests if you aren't careful. We deliberately
chose food that people wouldn't want to fill up on. We felt we should offer
refreshments not dinner for our guests. Bear in mind that many young ushers
will help themselves to the food more than 2-3 times during the evening.
Most people do not like to eat a lot of sweets. However, one piece of cake
and some punch with ice cream or sherbet added can be sufficient. We added
the "Utah Nut Cups", and the classic temple mints, too. I've heard that
those outside of Utah don't offer nut cups. But we figured that those who
couldn't eat the cake could nibble on the nuts and have a drink of water.
We offered both punch and water. We ordered the sheet cake from Costco.
If you keep the menu simple, you'll save money.
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10: The Wedding Dress
| Sometimes the cost of the dress can be more than the reception! My daughter
was able to borrow a dress from a friend. My other daughter found a place
that rented gently used dresses for just a flat fee plus the dry cleaning
fee. I have been told that to sew a dress is now more expensive than if you
order one already sewn. If you have a family member that is an excellent
seamstress and can do it without charge, it might be less costly than if
you paid for a ready-made dress. Most of all, we aim for Temple Appropriate
dresses (ask your bishop if you are unsure what/why/how).
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11: Wedding Breakfast
| We chose to have a luncheon instead of the breakfast. Because both families
were in a financial crunch, we had family bring a large pot-luck salad. We
had it in the local church gym. It was colorfully decorated in the wedding
colors with tablecloths from the dollar store. Some have told me that having
it catered at the church is still cheaper than going to a restaurant.
However, I do know that others have gone to a local Mexican restaurant
and weren't charged a lot of money.
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12: Wedding Line Attire
| Some brides are now choosing not to have a formal wedding line to save
money on bridesmaids dresses, and time the guests have to spend "in the
line". My daughter chose to do this and loved it. She did have bridesmaids,
but they purchased their own dresses.
Renting tuxes can also raise the cost of a reception. Usually the bride
will want the groom in a tux. But it isn't necessary. The ushers and
fathers can get by wearing their Sunday suits.
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